13 – The Great Mentalist

So I’m NOT a psychic – how depressing is that? I want at least one mutant power. Mind you, I think I’d prefer telekinesis to telepathy, but I wouldn’t turn it down…

Anyway, this is what’s known as a cognitive distortion – exaggerated or irrational thoughts perpetuated by some psychological disorders, including depression and chronic anxiety. It’s when you spend your time “making up” what others are thinking about you in their own heads, with no evidence, no proof, that they’re thinking anything of the sort.

It’s seriously damaging and debilitating for a number of reasons – for one, it’s hard enough juggling your own thoughts, but juggling everyone’s in a room? That’s a recipe for disaster (see also fatigue o_O).

For another, it’s totally meaningless. We spend our time judging ourselves in the voices and thoughts of others, which prevents us fully being who we want to be, and it unfairly lays the responsibility for that at the feet others, most of whom are unlikely to be thinking anything like the thoughts we ascribe to them.

So yes, The Great Mentalist is rather shit. Sorry about that…

In other news, I had my first check up appointment at the Doc’s yesterday, which was a kind of strange one this time round. Not much to report, not much change, so it’s a holding pattern and more pills until I start CBT therapy on 6th August…

  1. John Grieve said:

    Can totally relate to this. However by posting this I am now worrying that people will be saying ‘but you are a dick John. It’s NOT in your head’. Hurumph

  2. And that’s anxiety, my friend! Thing is, some people might be thinking “weirdo” or “you’re a dick” to either of us – the fucked up thing is that we *care*. I mean, how do we ever know who’s thinking it and who isn’t unless they actually say it? And the thing is, if someone really didn’t like me, I can deal with that. It’s the bogus mind reading that’s the killer in the first place…

  3. John Lees said:

    I have the occasional bout of anxiety in the reverse, where I become concerned that someone sitting across from me on the train might have teleknesis and could be trying to read my mind. At which point “TITS!” or “YOU’R DEAD FAT!” spring to the fore of my thoughts.

    • Oh my god, that’s obnoxiously bad, isn’t it? I get that too sometimes, and it always starts a slew of pure filth running through my head, so that I think they’ll be sitting going “What a deviant…” o_O

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